wishknew

We took about 20 blind people and asked them:

What were some of the things you really wished the sighted world knew about blind people.

We are not invisible.

One of the biggest "pet peeves" about the sighted world is in meeting others, people talk about them as if they were not there. “How old is he?” “Does she like music?” “Would he like a drink?” “What’s her name?”

People will ask whoever is with the blind person instead of asking them. Even adults have reported similar experiences. A blind man and his wife will go somewhere and the wife will be asked, “What’s your husband’s name?” with him standing right next to her. If the students are with sighted friends or family, many reported of the same treatment.

Please talk to them about them- not who is with them.

Most blind people are not deaf.

For some reason, when people do speak to them, a lot of the students reported people raise their voices and speak loudly when they find out they are blind. “HELLO. NICE TO MEET YOU” they often get loudly. While there are some deaf and blind persons, for the most part, blind people are just blind and can hear you just fine. Please talk in a normal voice as you would to anyone else.

For some reason, the public has confusion in this. When people find out I worked for a school for the blind, many people would ask if I knew sign language. Many other teachers and staff have reported the same thing.

Most blind people that tell you they are blind are.

I suppose there may be some people that lie, but for the most part, if you meet a person who says they are blind, they are. Many of the students reported one thing that really became tiresom was telling someone they were blind and the people either immediately wave their hands in front of the student’s eyes to see if they blink, or hold up a hand and say, “How many fingers am I holding up?” Almost all of the visually impaired people I know have reported getting the “how many fingers” question sometime.

If you are there to help them with something and you need to know their limitations fairly quick, it is okay to ask, “How well can you see?” or “How may I help you.” If it is just curiosity- please try to at least hold off until you get to know the person.

So please don’t wave your hands in their faces or try to give them a vision test counting fingers when meeting them.

Ask if we need help- don't assume yes or no.

A loss of vision can affect what you can do- but far more prominent it simply affects how you do it. Any of us, with vision or not, sometimes need the help of others. Just like you, a blind person at times will appreciate and can use the help of someone. That doesn’t mean they are helpless. If you see a blind person who seems to be struggling in something, unless they are about to walk in front of a car or something dangerous, please ask if you can be of assistance. They may gratefully accept or might thank you for your courtesey and offer, but tell you they are fine.

Many sighted people cannot imagine doing tasks without the aid of their vision, but many blind persons have received specialized training in adapting to do things without vision. Many blind people live alone, work, cook their own food, do their own laundry, etc.

While help may be accepted and appreciated at times, what students complained about was when people just jump in or grab their arm and start dragging them about to “help” them.

I have been out to eat with students that are totally blind. If it is a self-service drink area, when we walk up to where the drinks are filled, I usually fill them in on where everything is at. “Pepsi is second to the left, ice is in the middle, and straws and napkins to the left.” With that information, my student could quite easily fill his drink cup and gather the items he needed. I have had people come up and grab their cups out of their hands to fill it for them and glare at me as why I wasn’t helping the poor blind person. A polite question of “Can I help you any?” would have been appreciated and met with a “No thank you, I think I got it okay,” but no one likes having something snatched out of their hands or treated like they aren’t capable of the simplest of tasks. If there was no one sighted with my student, he would have probably responded to the question of help with a “Yes, can you tell me which one is Pepsi,” but would still been quite capable of filling his own drink.

On the same token, they all stated they had observed or been in situations where help would have been nice and everyone seemed to ignore them.

What are some difficult situations for the blind where help might be appreciated? Finding a seat in a crowded area or restaurant. You can always use a cane of feel if a chair is empty, but you hate banging someone with your cane or grabbing someone to tell if the chair is empty. A simple "Can I help you find a seat" to a lone blind person may be appreciated. Also, crowed and noisy rooms are hard to navigate. Navigating large areas relies on hearing as well as other factors. Big, noisy rooms are hard to get about or find doors, restrooms, etc.

So please don’t be afraid to help someone who is blind, but please ask.

Most blind people are just people who can’t see.

While there are many people that may have multiple problems or handicaps in their lives, blindness itself doesn’t mean there are other problems. The odds of a blind person being stupid, smart, lazy, ambitious, fat, skinny, retarded, ingenious, etc. are the same odds as someone who isn’t blind being any of those things. Hearing the term blind in itself does not mean that the person is anything but different in their vision. Many students reported that people meeting them assumed there were mental limitations associated with their blindness. Please remember that blind people are just ordinary human beings who don’t happen to see the same as others.

Blindness is not just darkness but a lot of different levels.

While there certainly are blind people that have a complete absence of visual activity and light, blindness is usually more in degrees. Many people with no functional vision can still tell if a room is brightly lit or dark- that is, they have some light sensitivity. Others can read a book with the help of a magnifier or if the book is in large print. Still, there are others who can read a regular book with no assistance, but couldn’t even see the book if it dropped to the floor. So please remember that blindness and visual ability may very greatly from person to person.

Most blind people have other things on their mind except blindness.

Most blind people will answer questions about blindness and understand people’s curiosity. They sometimes do get tired of the questions all of the time- but mostly understand. In a group of about 15 blind students discussing this one time, they stated they did sometimes get tired of questions on blindness all the time- but also admitted they do the same thing. When a new student arrives- they often ask questions to the new student about their blindness (How much can you see? How long have you been blind? etc.). They did see this as more of their social process than curiosity as blindness was something they shared- but admitted their questions would at times be spurred by curiosity if there was something different or unusual about the persons condition. A good point was made when during our discussion it came up I was almost completely color blind. I suddenly got a rash of people pointing to things asking, "what color is this?" and questions "how do you tell traffic lights," or "how do you pick out your clothes," from the rest of the group. I have also been talking to a new student and had another blind student come up and ask me, "How well can he see," instead of asking the student themself- so believe me, they understand.

Their main point of contention was when blindness gets to the focal point of meeting others and conversation or if people just get rude about it. As one student related, he went to a party where a friend was introducing him to others. He didn’t know anyone else there. Every time he was introduced to a small group of people, he got questions about being blind, what is what like, what he could see, how long, how do you do this or that… After being introduced to seven or eight groups of people, he was getting very bored with telling the story over and over again and wasn’t really “meeting” people so much as he felt he was being “interviewed.” He wasn't mad about it, but never did get to talk about his interests in sports or music, or find out anything about anyone he met.

Another student related how his mother was divorced and had started dating again. He hated every time his mom dated a new person because when they arrived at the house he would have to go through the “blind questions” again. He wasn’t angry- just bored with the whole process. Once again, he felt the focus was on his blindness and not him as a person. The questions weren't mixed with inquiries about school, or what kind of music did he like, or anything personal, just blindness.

So most blind people do understand and will be happy to answer questions- but remember that blindness is not generally near the top of their lists of interests. If you have a question, fine, but remember there are other interests that the person would rather be talking about. Try to get to know the person- not just their blindness. The blindness is just one characteristic of their being.

Don't be afraid of saying something wrong.

Many people are afraid of saying something "wrong" or become flustered or embarassed if they say something such as "did you see the game last night?" and then suddenly realize they are talking to a blind person. Most blind persons use every day conversation the same as you and do not find it offensive to relate to vision in conversation. Most will also say, "I watched television last night, " or "I saw a movie yesterday." (Yes, blind people do "watch" television and go to movies). It is normal conversation and acceptable. Even if you forget and say something like, "Look at that car over there," it isn't going to suddenly remind them they are blind and put them in a state of depression. Depending on how well they know you, they might smile and say, "I wish I could" or more likey just ask you what is so interesting about the car.

We can have good lives.

Imagine being in an elevator with Bill Gates and Donald Trump. Imagine having them start telling you how "inspiring" you are to them becuase you have to get up every monring and make your own breakfast, drive yourself to work, and even do your own laundry. They just don't know how they could ever survive in such a situation and it is really inspiring to see people like you who can accept such daily challenges of living.

I know it sounds silly, but most blind kids didn't understand why it was supposed to be "inspiring" when sighted people tell them that simply because they are blind and go through the daily routines of life. They don't particularly find blindness in itself to be inspiring and the tasks of daily living are pretty routine to them. They want recognition for their accomplishments and achievements, not their blindness.

They felt the sighted world should know they feel they can live full and adequate lives and do many things and be happy. They did not understand why anyone would feel sorry for them or pity them. In many areas they felt they could compete with sighted youth without any problem. There have been blind wrestlers beat sighted wrestlers, ran faster than sighted athletes in track, and in areas of academics, computers, singing, etc,. feel quite comfortable in competing with anyone, sighted or not. They wished only opportunities- not pity.

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